How Dare You?! 成何体统 (Cheng He Ti Tong)
By 七英俊 Qi Ying Jun
Translation by Spider
The phoenix perches on the parasol tree*, exuding elegance and grandeur.
*凤栖于梧，清致高华: I have no idea what this translates to. The first part led me to a poem by Liu Yong who was a poet from the song dynasty. The poem was about going up a mountain and feeling lonely while looking in the distance, then drinking to fill the loneliness, and then ends with the protagonist of the poem vowing to work hard for their beloved.
The oldest form of tribute surpasses a thousand elegant and affectionate words.
In ceremonial attire that had not yet been removed, the monarch earnestly looked up at her. “Will you marry me?”
A strong wind suddenly arose and carried them through the distant past. Above their heads, the Milky Way shook and shed tears, echoing with the resounding sound of a majestic bell.
They had agreed never to cry again.
Yu Wanyin raised her hand to shield her eyes. “From the beginning, I have been your consort. Now I am your empress…”
“Is that enough?” Xiahou Dan smiled as he slipped a ring onto her finger. “I want you to be my bride as well.”
Wuming Ke stayed in the capital for several days, waiting until the mourning period for Bei Zhou ended, finally laying them to rest.
Taking advantage of the current courtiers’ reluctance to object, Xiahou Dan made a firm decision to bury him with the honours due to a prince.
Bei Zhou’s body entered the imperial mausoleum in grand style, but his magnificent tomb was merely a ceremonial mound. His bones were quietly buried next to Empress Cizhen.
Thus, the changes in the capital came to a conclusion.
Lin Xuanying reorganised the surrendered troops, returned to the Southern Border with his newly conferred title of general, and began to clean up the aftermath. They all knew that the imperial throne would change hands soon. In order to prevent chaos, they needed to be prepared early.
With nothing else to attend to, Wuming Ke decided to accompany his disciple and guide him in his cultivation journey.
The emperor and empress escorted them all the way outside the city.
In the pavilion, Lin Xuanying drank with Xiahou Dan. He knew in his heart that this was most likely a final farewell. Unable to muster any sentimental words, he hesitated for a long time before saying, “Go in peace. I won’t take her away.”
Xiahou Dan replied, “…Thank you.”
At the same time, Yu Wanyin took Wuming Ke aside to speak in private.
“His Majesty has announced to the world that out of familial affection, Xiahou Bo will not be killed but imprisoned for life. We will try not to use severe punishment and let him live a few more years.” Yu Wanyin said.
Wuming Ke bowed deeply. “On behalf of all beings, I thank Your Majesty.”
The wind rustled through the long grass. He stood there in his white robes, looking as if he was ready to leave this world.
Yu Wanyin looked at him expressionlessly, her gaze strange, and asked softly, “Everything you have done, was it not for the sake of a certain person, but rather for the sake of this world, am I right?”
Wuming Ke stroked his beard. “Heaven and earth have their own destiny and do not speak. We mortals, able to glimpse a bit of it, are entrusted by the will of heaven. Therefore, we must do our utmost.”
“I understand.” Yu Wanyin said, “Up to now, you haven’t shown His Majesty a way out, I suppose heaven doesn’t care about him either.”
Wuming Ke’s eyelids twitched. “Please be cautious, Your Majesty.”
Yu Wanyin smiled, “Just speaking the truth. After luring him in for ten years, draining him of his vitality, and then discarding him. “
A few muffled thunderclaps sounded in the sky.
Yu Wanyin raised her head, her lips pursed, lifting a sarcastic smile. “So this is what they call the will of heaven, so cold-hearted.”
Wuming Ke was shocked.
He had spent most of his life as a recluse and had never encountered such audacious behaviour. Was she trying to get herself killed?
Yu Wanyin maintained her calm demeanour as she stood there, her breath almost stagnant.
Then, she raised a gun.
Wuming Ke remained indifferent.
Until she turned the gun on herself, pointing it at her own forehead.
Wuming Ke: “?”
“If His Majesty dies, I will follow him. You can go find the next saviour for the world.” Yu Wanyin said.
Wuming Ke was stunned for a few seconds, then regained his inscrutable composure. “Her Majesty will not.”
Yu Wanyin pulled the trigger without hesitation.
Wuming Ke’s expression suddenly changed.
Yu Wanyin tossed aside the unloaded gun and chuckled, “It seems even the esteemed guest can make mistakes sometimes.”
Before Wuming Ke could react, she raised a second gun. “Why don’t you try calculating this time? Is there ammunition in this one? And think carefully, will I do it?”
Wuming Ke: “…”
Taking a deep breath, Wuming Ke said, “Her Majesty shouldn’t act like this. The situation has just stabilised, a result hard-earned by His Majesty’s tireless efforts. If Her Majesty abandons it now, everything will be lost in an instant…”
“I shouldn’t, but I’m willing to.” Yu Wanyin replied.
Wuming Ke finally became anxious, “This is going against the will of heaven!”
“You are mistaken. This isn’t going against the will of Heaven. This is bringing Heaven into line with my will.” Yu Wanyin stood proudly in the strong wind, her clothes and hair fluttering, each word deliberate. “As a corporate bottom feeder, we can tolerate anything, except not being paid. If you want me to sit in this position, you must give me what I want.”
The audacity of her speech surpassed Wuming Ke’s comprehension. For a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. Her words seemed directed not at him, but at the heavens themselves, bargaining with fate. He was just a messenger caught in the middle.
Thunder rolled continuously like the beating of ten thousand drums. The grasslands around them surged like waves in the wind.
Yu Wanyin clearly had no intention of waiting for his response. She bowed gracefully again and calmly said, “Please, divine for me. Whether this divination yields an answer or not, I’ll consider it a reply.”
Wuming Ke pondered for a long time before agreeing.
He steadied himself, not reaching for any divination tool, but instead looked up at the silver serpents streaking across the sky amidst thunderous sounds, calculating with his fingers.
Lightning danced closer and closer above their heads, intermittently brightening and dimming their surroundings. Wuming Ke stood unmoving, murmuring incantations. Yu Wanyin observed for a while and guessed he was performing divination.
She didn’t interrupt or rush him, just stood quietly to the side, the gun in her hand never lowered.
After what felt like an eternity, Wuming Ke finished, visibly drained.
Yu Wanyin asked, “Sir?”
“Thunder and water dissolve.”
Yu Wanyin was puzzled, not understanding his meaning.
Wuming Ke explained, “When undecided, advance should be prioritised.”
Before he could finish speaking, a thunderbolt struck down from above, landing five feet away from them, turning the ground into scorched earth.
Wuming Ke immediately knelt down.
“What’s undecided?” Yu Wanyin hurriedly asked.
Another thunderbolt struck. Wuming Ke jumped up, turned, and started walking away, waving his hand. “Can’t say! When the turning point comes, Your Majesty will understand!”
Yu Wanyin wanted to ask more, but Wuming Ke moved like a ghostly figure, disappearing dozens of yards away in the blink of an eye.
Whether he was avoiding divine punishment or avoiding Yu Wanyin, he didn’t even wait for Lin Xuanying, swiftly leaving on his own.
The guidance she had finally received was still cryptic.
Yu Wanyin sighed and could only ponder it herself.
On the way back to the palace, she pondered deeply about where exactly she was ‘hesitating to advance or retreat’ in this matter, so much so that she didn’t notice the unusual silence from Xiahou Dan.
As soon as they got off the carriage, Xiahou Dan spoke up, “I’m going to hold a meeting.”
He didn’t return until it was dark. As usual, Yu Wanyin waited to have dinner with him, but only received a message asking her to eat alone.
She knew Xiahou Dan’s headaches were getting worse again. In recent days, he had been disappearing more and more frequently, and he had become so thin that even in her company, officials had to add a ‘take care of your health’ clause. Even when they were together, he always put on a brave face.
Yu Wanyin grew anxious. She couldn’t swallow more than a few bites of dinner, and lay on the bed waiting for Xiahou Dan, tossing and turning, not even knowing when she fell asleep.
When she was awakened again, it was midnight, and the bed was still empty.
The trembling voice of the guard who woke her up said, “Your Highness, the Emperor…”
Yu Wanyin jolted awake and hurriedly put on her robe, “Lead the way.”
Xiahou Dan was in a secluded hall with no one else.
From the outside, this hall looked unremarkable, but upon entering, she realised it was heavily guarded. Yu Wanyin’s heart tightened at the sight of these guards.
Inside, it was a mess. Broken dishes and overturned screens littered the floor and had yet to be cleaned up. The Emperor was tied to the bed, barely breathing, already unconscious.
His body and forehead were covered in a blur of blood and flesh, even his fingernails were worn and cracked, a sight too gruesome to bear. Xiao Tiancai bandaged him, and when he saw Yu Wanyin’s face, he quickly knelt down.
Yu Wanyin took a few deep breaths before she could speak, “Why not use the needle to help him sleep?”
Xiao Tiancai said cautiously, “This time, His Majesty’s condition is different from before. Acupuncture is no longer effective. I tried administering calming medicine, with several doses, and it only just started to work…”
He hesitated, “Your Highness, the toxins have accumulated in His Majesty’s body, beyond hope. This time…”
This time, it was truly hopeless.
The candlelight stretched Yu Wanyin’s shadow, as if pulling her downward into an abyss.
She heard her own voice calmly ask, “How much time does he have left?”
“The poison has reached his brain. He may be completely paralysed in two days. Then he might lose his senses, even go blind and deaf, at most it could take ten days or half a month…” Xiao Tiancai clenched his teeth, guilt and regret showing in his expression, “I am incompetent, I have failed His Majesty and Your Highness’s trust. Please forgive me.”
Yu Wanyin took the medicine from him, sat down by the bed, and held Xiahou Dan’s hand. She carefully bandaged his wounds and whispered, “Continue administering the medicine, try to keep him asleep.”
Xiao Tiancai thought she had accepted the reality, only wanting to ease Xiahou Dan’s pain before he left. He bowed heavily, “Yes.”
Yu Wanyin stayed in the secluded hall until dawn.
She ordered more guards to watch the hall closely and announced to the outside that the Emperor was feeling unwell and would not attend court today.
National affairs had just returned to normalcy. Although the morning court was cancelled, many matters still required decisions.
After returning to the palace to freshen up and change clothes, Yu Wanyin prepared to see someone.
The mute girl helped her take off her robe, paused, and suddenly grabbed her arm to inspect it.
“What’s wrong? Oh.” Yu Wanyin then noticed the blood stains on her cuff. Seeing the mute girl still searching for wounds, she reassured her, “It’s not my injury. His Majesty… His Majesty accidentally fell and scratched himself.” She made up her mind in seconds and used this as a consistent explanation to the outside world.
The mute girl glanced at Yu Wanyin’s expression, said nothing more, and brought a bowl of warm sweet porridge and several side dishes.
Yu Wanyin suddenly realised that she hadn’t eaten for a long time. She patted the mute girl’s head, gulped down the sweet porridge, and felt a bit calmer. Looking at the gloomy sky outside, she murmured to herself, “Give you one last day. If you don’t know what’s good for you, I’ll go on strike tomorrow.”
The mute girl: ‘?’
Yu Wanyin quickly processed a stack of urgent reports and inquired about news from Tur, but there was still no response. The so-called turning point seemed to be just an excuse made up by Wuming Ke to escape.
Yu Wanyin dismissed the others, then suddenly collapsed on the desk in the study, motionless.
After a moment, faint footsteps approached from behind.
Yu Wanyin lifted her head alertly, “Who’s there?”
“It’s me, Your Majesty.” A shadowy guard appeared unexpectedly, bowing his head respectfully.
“Twelve?” Yu Wanyin recognized his face. “Isn’t it your day off today?”
Twelve replied, “His Majesty had ordered that if he fell ill, the number of undercover guards around you should increase immediately. Since it’s a secret command, I’ve been hidden today to protect you. Please forgive me for the secrecy.”
“Why have you come out now then?”
“Your Majesty, the mute girl disappeared from the palace a quarter of an hour ago.”
Yu Wanyin’s heart skipped a beat.
Twelve continued, “She’s slippery and seemed to have known where the other guards were stationed. She moved swiftly, escaping from their blind spots. I was a new addition today and caught a glimpse of her sneaking towards the direction of the small pharmacy.”
The so-called small pharmacy was a recently renovated room meant solely for Xiahou Dan’s use. With his deteriorating condition, he required large doses of sedatives and painkillers. Anyone observant enough to examine the residue of these medicines could deduce his dire state. To maintain secrecy, the small pharmacy was hidden in an extremely obscure location, unknown to ordinary palace residents.
Yu Wanyin’s suspicions grew deeper, “Is His Majesty alright?”
Twelve assured her, “Your Majesty, the side hall is like a fortress right now. No one can infiltrate.”
Yu Wanyin calmed down and pondered deeply.
At this point, any anomaly was not as terrifying as the absence of anomalies. Now that clues had emerged, it was crucial to follow them through to find the truth.
With time pressing, she instructed Twelve, “Order the side hall to dispose of all medicines delivered today and brew them anew. Continue monitoring the mute girl, but do not alert her. She must not leave without my command.”
As a result, the mute girl remained quiet for the rest of the day.
After nightfall, Xiahou Dan woke up in the side hall and immediately began banging his head against the bedpost from the moment he opened his eyes.
The bonds on his body had loosened, and in his sudden movement, palace attendants were caught off guard, managing to restrain him only after he struck himself twice.
Yu Wanyin tried to administer medicine to him, but Xiahou Dan struggled incessantly, his eyes not focusing, emitting animal-like roars. Despite her calls, he seemed unaware. Finally, it took the guards’ brute force to pry open his mouth and forcefully administer the medicine.
After he lapsed back into unconsciousness, even the battle-hardened guards were teary-eyed, anxiously stealing glances at Yu Wanyin.
Yu Wanyin stood frozen for a moment. “He doesn’t recognize me anymore.”
The guard murmured words of comfort.
Yu Wanyin felt a sense of absurdity. “The last thing he said to me was… ‘I’m going to attend a meeting.'”
She numbly turned away and left.
Returning to her sleeping quarters, Yu Wanyin casually greeted the mute girl, “I’m feeling a bit tired today. I’ll rest first.”
She lay on the bed motionless, hoping the mute girl would relax her vigilance again and venture out. Whatever action she took, the situation couldn’t get any worse.
However, after waiting for two hours, there was still no movement.
Yu Wanyin began to feel cold, curling up in her blankets.
“Let the turning point come quickly. If it’s delayed any longer, it will be meaningless.”
The thick, warm covers failed to retain warmth and turned into an ice chamber. Yu Wanyin’s teeth chattered, annoyed at herself for succumbing at this critical moment, now even running a fever. She wanted to call for the imperial physician but feared alarming the mute girl…
Suddenly, her breathing halted.
In her confused thoughts, a vague memory surfaced. This morning, did she drink a bowl of sweet porridge?
A faint light seeped through the bed curtains as someone lit a lamp. A slender figure approached and lifted the curtain.
The mute girl stood by the bed, looking at her with concern.
Yu Wanyin struggled to suppress her trembling and slowly withdrew her hand from under the covers, aiming the gun at her.
Ignoring Yu Wanyin’s reaction, the mute girl asked, “Your Majesty, are you feeling unwell?”
It was only then that Yu Wanyin realised the mute girl spoke.
At that moment, she also understood why the girl pretended to be mute. the broken and scattered fragments of that short sentence, spoken with a distinct foreign accent, came together.
“You’re from the Qiang Kingdom.”
It wasn’t a question, so the girl didn’t reply.
Yu Wanyin sat up, wrapping herself tightly in the blanket, trying to ignore the bone-chilling cold invading her marrow. Her voice remained calm and steady, “You followed me into the palace for assassination. You figured out the positions of the guards and the location of the small pharmacy. Judging from my behaviour this morning, you deduced that those medicines were for His Majesty, and decided to seize the opportunity to end his life.”
The medicine brewed in the small pharmacy wasn’t effective, so the girl couldn’t determine Xiahou Dan’s illness and wouldn’t know that he would die even without any interference.
“As a result, you poisoned the medicine in the small pharmacy, but were discovered. You waited until night, but didn’t hear the death knell, realizing the mission had failed. You had no choice but to try again through me…”
At this point, Yu Wanyin paused, “Strange, since you poisoned me early with the sweet porridge, why did you go to the small pharmacy unnecessarily and expose yourself prematurely?”
The mute girl shrugged, urging her on, “A stick of incense.”
Ignoring her, Yu Wanyin continued softly, “Also, you knew who I am and who Xiahou Dan is. Why didn’t you strike earlier on the exile path? Instead, you repeatedly assisted us.”
The mute girl’s expression turned cold. Her usually agile eyes now fixed fiercely on Yu Wanyin, showing a hint of ruthlessness.
“. Ah, I understand,” Yu Wanyin answered herself, “Back then, Prince Duan was in power, so killing us was futile. You wanted to see us and the Prince fight each other to death. But our victory came quicker than you expected. Seeing the Prince’s defeat inevitable, you decided to act as the final trump card, am I right?” She smiled faintly, “If that’s the case, you, at such a young age, have a far-reaching vision. You must not have been an ordinary commoner in Qiang.”
The mute girl couldn’t help but sneer, “Every Qiang person knows. If Xia and Yan go to war, and we don’t, we’re finished.”
Qiang was weak, squeezed between Xia and Yan. They lacked a strong army and refused to bow as a vassal state seeking refuge. Their survival relied on various underhanded methods. poison, theft, seduction, and sowing discord.
Like the ancient Yan Kingdom, Qiang also liked to send assassins to Xia. Killing a few important figures, causing chaos in Xia for a while, would elevate them to heroes, and their families would be rewarded.
“After the alliance with Tur and the invasion of Qiang, many refugees from Qiang, struggling to survive, also sought to create disasters to weaken Xia and end their homeland’s suffering.”
“My parents were warriors of the Queen. I want to be a warrior too.”
There was a naive fervour in her tone that sent chills and sorrow through Yu Wanyin inexplicably.
Yu Wanyin asked softly, “To be a warrior… and then what?”
The mute girl’s eyes hollowed for a moment before she smiled again.
Suddenly, Yu Wanyin recalled the poison seeds in the Empress Dowager’s fingernails. Xiao Tiancai said that only Qiang people could produce such poison. The Empress Dowager used it to eliminate enemies generation after generation. Now she was destined for hell and had to arrange the final trial for Xiahou Dan. But how did she initially obtain the poison seeds and poison mechanism? Which glorious Qiang warrior managed to disrupt Xia for three generations?
Historically famous assassins were only second-rate assassins. The actual top performers had disappeared into the long river of time as if they had never existed.
“There’s one more thing I don’t understand,” Yu Wanyin said, “You changed even your close-fitting clothes when you entered the palace. Where did you suddenly get the poison now?”
The mute girl glanced out the window, “God, help me.”
These words sparked a thought in Yu Wanyin’s mind, a fleeting insight.
She looked out following the mute girl’s gaze, raising her eyebrows, “Those flowers?”
Many exotic flowers and plants were brought from across the country for her coronation ceremony. Yu Wanyin pressed on, “Among those flowers and plants, did you find all the necessary ingredients you needed? None were missing?”
The mute girl blinked, suddenly realising, and said fiercely, “If you don’t move, you’ll die!”
Yu Wanyin looked regretful.
She knew Twelve was nearby listening, so she tried to draw information from the mute girl. But the girl was not foolish; she saw through Yu Wanyin’s intent and refused to say another word, pulling her off the bed.
Yu Wanyin’s calm was forced. In reality, her organs were nearly frozen, her whole body stiff and cold. Being forcefully dragged to the ground by the mute girl, she could only steady herself by grasping the bedpost, “I can’t… around the Emperor, the defences are tight. If I pull out a weapon, I’ll be riddled with bullets…”
“Move,” the mute girl pushed her towards the door.
Yu Wanyin staggered, still trying to persuade, “…All food and water are tested for poison, and countless eyes are watching. Even if it were me, I wouldn’t have a chance to poison anyone. Don’t be hasty; this matter needs careful consideration…”
A stick of incense burned quickly. Yu Wanyin could feel her strength draining with her body temperature.
If she captured the mute girl now, would she have time to use torture to force her to reveal the antidote? Or could she save Xiahou Dan?
However, this person was so resolute and hated Xia to the bone, she wouldn’t yield to coercion or temptation. Even the promised antidote was probably non-existent.
Since this trap was set, the intention must have been to kill both the Emperor and the Empress Dowager at the same time, right? Unfortunately, this plan was doomed to fail because Heaven would never allow a double murder. Between myself and Xiahou Dan, in the end, one of us will always survive…
In an instant, Yu Wanyin froze.
One of us will survive?
The mute girl said, “He trusts you.”
She cornered Yu Wanyin at the door, took out a small porcelain bottle from her sleeve, and said with a half-smile, “He’s bleeding.”
Like lightning across the dark sky, in this moment of profound mystery, Yu Wanyin saw through all the cunning cause and effect here.
The five stars align, turning misfortune into good fortune.
Her mind roared like an avalanche, and she watched numbly as the mute girl handed her the small porcelain bottle, “Sprinkle it on the wound.”
Yu Wanyin exhausted all her acting skills, revealing a face full of fear and despair, trembling as she hid the porcelain bottle and left the palace.
As soon as she was out of the mute girl’s sight, several guards emerged from the shadows, nervously supporting her, “Your Highness.”
Yu Wanyin quickened her pace towards the secluded hall, “Go capture the mute girl alive. Tell Xiao Tiancai to prepare the medicine box.”
In the secluded hall…
Xiao Tiancai poured out a bit of powder from the porcelain bottle, sniffed and inspected it repeatedly, and in his urgency, even tasted a bit, “It’s very similar.”
He then took out a testing rat from the medicine box, cut open its skin with a dagger, and sprinkled the powder on it. The rat’s blood immediately gushed out incessantly, even after applying gold sore medicine, there was no sign of stopping the bleeding.
Xiao Tiancai wiped his cold sweat and declared, “It’s very similar to the poison used by the Yan assassin last time. It causes unstoppable bleeding and death. I can identify some of the herbs used, which match the remnants of the ancient formula.”
Tur had said that the poison was left behind by the Queen of Qiang.
Since Xiahou Dan not only survived the last assassination attempt, but also experienced temporary relief from his headache, they had the idea of using poison against poison. However, the Queen of Qiang had only left that small amount, and Tur had exhausted it. They could not reproduce the formula, so they had to search high and low.
Little did they know that they would obtain it effortlessly today.
Yu Wanyin sat by Xiahou Dan’s bed, feeling extremely weak, with a few helpless imperial physicians kneeling nearby. She ignored them and asked Xiao Tiancai, “Can it be used?”
Could this bottle of unknown origin save the Emperor? What if a slight mistake caused immediate death?
Xiao Tiancai was drenched in cold sweat, unable to nod, and turned to the elderly imperial physician kneeling beside him, “Master, what do you think?”
The old imperial physician trembled, “This… requires some time to verify…”
But they didn’t have time.
Yu Wanyin trembled, her vision beginning to darken. Beside her, Xiahou Dan was pale, his breathing rapid.
Xiao Tiancai despairingly withdrew his gaze. Once the Empress collapsed, presumably no one in the palace would dare to decide on medication for the Emperor and bear the charge of attempted regicide.
He gritted his teeth, about to speak.
“Bring it here.” Yu Wanyin said.
Xiao Tiancai was taken aback, and the old imperial physician began to advise urgently, “Your Highness, please reconsider!”
Yu Wanyin simply held out her hands to Xiao Tiancai, “When in doubt, always choose to move forward.”
Xiao Tiancai handed over the porcelain bottle.
Yu Wanyin couldn’t care about anything else at this moment. Pure instinct guided her as she tried to undo Xiahou Dan’s bandages, but her strength was failing her. After fumbling for a long time, she still couldn’t untie them.
Since Xiao Tiancai had already started, he no longer hesitated and stepped forward to help remove the bandages, revealing Xiahou Dan’s intricate wound.
Yu Wanyin took a deep breath and reluctantly lifted the porcelain bottle.
Xiahou Dan on the bed suddenly twitched his eyelashes.
In the silence of the room, he slowly opened his eyes, his unfocused gaze drifting towards the side of the bed.
Translation by Spider
Next: Chapter 26
Previous: Chapter 24