This is an amusing imagining of the deleted scene where Darcy recruits Col. Fitzwilliam to be his Wickham reference. I made no attempt to use regency language.
(Darcy, bleary eyed from writing all night, knocks on Colonel Fitzwilliam’s door way too early in the morning)
Col. F: Good God! What happened to you?
Darcy: Nothing happened, I just need to talk to you. You know Miss Bennet?
Col. F: Yes…
Darcy: I need you to go visit the parsonage today and if she asks you any questions, answer them. But not in front of the Collinses, maybe suggest a walk. You can figure it out.
Col. F: Questions about what?
Darcy: Georgiana and Wickham.
Col F: Are you insane? Are you drunk? No, did she find out? Has Wickham been talking? I swear, you should have let me duel him.
Darcy: No, Wickham didn’t tell her. And for the last time, you are not duelling Wickham! He is not worth it.
Col F.: I am not endangering the reputation of your sister without an explanation.
Darcy: I just need you to. For reasons.
Col. F: Reasons?
Darcy: I haven’t slept, I spent all night writing this five-page letter, can you just give me this one? I have complete confidence in her discretion.
Col F: No! You said you barely knew her. How do you have complete confidence in her discretion?
Darcy: I may have a… more extensive acquaintance with Miss Bennet than I initially led you to believe.
Col. F: How extensive?
Darcy: I might have just proposed to her.
Col F: Might have? As in she said no? To you?
Darcy: I will neither confirm nor deny what Miss Bennet said. I just need you to tell her the truth about Wickham, if she doesn’t believe me.
Col. F: She rejected you in favour of Wickham? Low blow.
Darcy: No, she didn’t, I hope. That’s actually worse than what I was thinking. That would be horrible. Why did you say that? You need to go to the parsonage and make her understand the truth about him!
Col F: I’m sorry. So, you need me to go to the parsonage?
Darcy: Yes. And then we are never going to speak about this again.
Col F: Are you absolutely certain that you aren’t drunk?
Darcy: No, but I probably should be. (turns suddenly)
Col F: Where are you going now?
Darcy: I need to deliver this letter! And ask the butler to pack some brandy.
Col F: You wore those clothes yesterday.
Darcy: (changes direction).
Col F: (chuckles and heads back to bed)
And so begins Chapter 35…
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For more short stories, go here
For my Mansfield Park variation, here Unfairly Caught
For my crossover romance, check out Prideful & Persuaded