A Truly Accomplished Lady or Caroline Bingley: Genius

By Bethany Delleman
Copyright 2022

It is a truth not so universally acknowledged that a brilliant mind should never go to waste. It was to the great fortune of Miss Caroline Bingley’s family, the Bennets, and the world at large that her great mind never did. Caroline was born to a family of humble carriage makers, respectable but without any aspirations above their moderate competence. She was the youngest of three, with an older sister and brother.

When Caroline was eight years old, she took a particularly bumpy carriage ride, went home, and invented the spring-stabilised carriage frame. Caroline’s father made fifty thousand pounds, producing them himself and selling licences abroad. He split the money between his three children, he said it was only fair, but Caroline did not mind one bit.

At ten years old, Caroline was having trouble mending her quill and so invented the first ballpoint pen. Her father, who was by no means deficient in intelligence himself, soon had nearly a hundred employees assembling them before being bought out by the pen knife monopoly, whose business had almost been destroyed. The profits were over a hundred thousand pounds. Caroline’s father thought it would be good for the family to purchase an estate and he put all the money in a trust for that purpose. Caroline did not mind at all.

At twelve years old, the Bingley’s  servants were having trouble preparing enough white soup for a party, and Caroline, who now had full access to her father’s forgery, invented a new type of oven that was twice as efficient and half as large., They were able to make white soup in abundance. Her father, fully prepared for something new, was soon selling more ovens than pens, carriage frames, or licences. The fortune of two hundred thousand pounds was the most perplexing problem.

“It shall look odd, my dear girl, if you have the most significant fortune of my children.”

Caroline looked at her father curiously, “But if it were known that I was the source of the fortune, surely everyone would understand.”

“That is not the way of the world,” said Mr. Bingley. “We must never let anyone suspect that you are the true mind behind our fortune if you hope to marry well. If a woman has the misfortune of a thinking brain, she had best hide it.”

“What if I do not wish to marry?” said Caroline.

“Foolish girl, that is the only path in life for a woman of fortune, and with your wealth, you may marry very high. But we must share the money with your sister.”

Caroline thought about it, read some articles about the relative fortunes of the most eligible women, and then told her father, “We shall give my sister twenty thousand pounds, more than enough to marry well. When she is married, I shall inherit the rest. Do you think this fair?”

“What about your brother?”

“He may have the money to purchase an estate, if you do not find anything suitable.”

This all seemed very reasonable and well thought out. Therefore, when Miss Louisa Bingley married Mr. Hurst, a man of more fashion than fortune, the sixteen-year-old Miss Caroline Bingley was presented to the world as an heiress with a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Or to put it another way, she had an income of ten thousand a year.

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The next year, Caroline’s father died. The company passed to his brother and continued to thrive because of Miss Bingley’s most recent inventions: a cheaper method of printing books that made home libraries accessible to all, a laundry soap that can wash even the worst dirt from a petticoat, and a method of soundproofing rooms so that rational conversation could take place in an adjoining salon during a ball. Feeling that her fortune was large enough, Caroline used her money to research new ways of harvesting cotton, which resulted in the invention of the first spindle cotton harvester.

There was another motivation Caroline was forced to acknowledge which made an increase to her current fortune intolerable. She was beset on all sides by artful, charming, and indefatigable suitors. Caroline could not attend a play without being so surrounded that she could not see the stage, she could not enter a ballroom without starting a near brawl to claim her hand for the first two dances, and she could hardly walk down the street without being nearly crushed by the crowd of gentlemen who lurked about the Hurst’ house in town, waiting to catch a glimpse of her. The men who befriended her brother for her sake! The sisters who tried to make a play for her affection! It was almost more than Caroline could bear. She found it hard to get any more inventing done!

In the summer of her twentieth year, in a desperate bid to lose some of her fortune, she invested a great sum in a speculative venture in the county of Derbyshire. This turned out to be a foolish scheme, for it brought not only handsome returns, a near doubling of her investment, but worse, despite her best efforts, her identity was discovered by the primary investor. This investor was the sort to find things out and he discovered what no one in England knew, that Miss Bingley was the source of her family’s wealth. Having previously written her off as only a rich heiress, he went to London with the intention of marrying her, if he could.

His name was Fitzwilliam Darcy.

“Charles,” said Caroline, “Why have you invited Mr. Darcy again for dinner. You know I dislike him.”

“He is my friend, Caroline,” said Charles. Caroline imagined for a moment that Charles was in fact a golden retriever, wagging and wishing to be praised for finding a stray cat to bring home.

“Charles, you are always falling in love with new friends! How many of them now have been in reality men hoping to marry me?”

Charles would not be dissuaded, “Darcy has ten thousand a year! What need has he of your fortune?”

“Charles dear, everyone (except myself) with ten thousand a year, would love to double their fortune. He is only your friend to get closer to me.”

“No no, Darcy told me he abhors deception of every sort! And he assured me that we are the best of friends!”

“You have known him for all of six weeks!”

“Six weeks is more than enough time to form a friendship.”

Caroline sighed deeply and prepared herself for an evening of rather awkward flirtation. She wondered as she dressed if it would be possible to invent some sort of gentleman repellent, but she firmly believed that had she been eighty years of age, with a rank odour, no teeth, and one strand of hair, she would have as many suitors as she did now. She could not help that in addition to her fortune she was beautiful, well-educated, and elegant, in short: a very fine lady.

“Miss Bingley,” Darcy began as soon as he arrived, “You must allow me to tell you-”

“Mr. Darcy!” Caroline cut him short, “I do not allow you.”

“It is only an expression, Caroline,” chided Charles.

“Be that as it may, I have spoken my sentiments,” she replied, “Now let us be rational and have some dinner.”

It was not long into dinner before Mr. Darcy turned to her and said, “These birds are remarkably well done.”

“Then you must give the compliments to my sister,” Caroline said stoically, “I am not the hostess.”

“My compliments to you of course, Mrs. Hurst,” said he. Turning again to his object, he revealed his true purpose for the visit, “Would it not be more comfortable for your family to be in the country during the summer.”

“Perhaps more comfortable,” replied Caroline, “but Charles has not yet decided which county he prefers for purchase.”

“May I suggest Hertfordshire? I heard of a fine house available to let. Are you not tired of the constant attention you receive here in town?”

She was, though she did not wish to speak of it, “I do not see that there will be any difference. I am known wherever I go in the kingdom.”

“Allow me to propose that you take a different name and spend a few months in retired anonymity. It is something I have often desired to do myself.”

Caroline would have rolled her eyes, if she was not in such good command of her countenance, “Then why have you not? Go to France and take up any name you choose.”

“We are at war in France.”

“All the better,” Caroline said, and then to obscure her meaning she continued, “with all the confusion no one shall know you at all.”

“If you would accompany me, I would surely go,” said Darcy.

Caroline frowned; his gallantry was annoying. If only Charles had not insisted on being his friend! “I have no inclination to travel to the continent at present.”

“I like this plan of going to the country,” Charles said, noticing his sister was becoming uncivil.

“Yes, I would like to walk outdoors in peace,” said Louisa.

“There is shooting to be had in September,” added Mr. Hurst, thinking more of his enjoyment than his sister-in-law’s.

Mr. Darcy suspected enough to be fairly certain that it was Caroline’s approbation that he needed to seek, but he addressed himself chiefly to Charles now to maintain appearances, “It is a lovely country, perhaps not as fine as Derbyshire, but the easy distance to town means that if any business does arise, it may be easy attended to.”

“A great advantage, I would think. Would you be able to accompany us?” Charles asked eagerly.

“I have every intention of being able to accompany your family for the entire autumn. My sister, however, may miss me.”

“Then bring your sister as well!” cried Charles.

Caroline gave her brother a look of utter disgust, but then turned and smiled at Darcy, “Yes, your delightful sister. Bring her as well. Let us all go to Hertfordshire.”

Charles was again puppy-like, nearly shaking with joy, the Hursts seemed delighted, and Darcy was extraordinarily pleased. Caroline, of course, understood his purpose perfectly. Why not have her alone, with the whole world ignorant of her location, so he might try to convince her to marry him? He was a very intelligent man and a persistent one. He had gone so far as to contrive to bring his sister to throw at Charles! 

Charles found Caroline after dinner and said to her, “You could certainly do worse than Darcy. He seems to appreciate your intelligence. Why not let him succeed at last?”

Caroline was for a moment unable to reply, for there was nothing particularly wrong with Darcy, but there was nothing she loved either. “I am sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. I am disgusted with men always speaking, looking, and thinking for my approbation alone. Perhaps this ridiculous plan is for the best, I prefer to be unknown than beset by suitors on all sides. Let us hope that no one in Hertfordshire knows me by sight.”

“I hope there are pretty girls!” said Bingley eagerly.

Caroline was about to say that there were pretty girls everywhere and her brother was sure to fall in love immediately, but she was not the sort to kick puppies, so she held her tongue. Instead she said, “I do not know how we are to be seen as a respectable family while still maintaining our anonymity.”

“Oh, Darcy has a plan for that!” Charles said helpfully.

“Of course, he does.”

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A complex plan had been arranged, mostly by Mr. Darcy, to conceal their true names and borrow those from an obliging family in the north, so that their fortune and good character might be established immediately upon arriving in Hertfordshire. Unfortunately, Charles, who arrived first to set everything in order, let slip his true identity almost immediately. Fortunately, the good people of Meryton and the surrounding country were so delighted to be hosting the magnificently wealthy Miss Bingley (and her slightly-less wealthy brother) that, to a person, they agreed to keep the arrival of the Bingleys quite to themselves.

So it was that Caroline arrived at the assembly ball in Meryton with her own name and fortune. She was acutely aware of the stares and near hungry looks on the face of each mother in the crowd. They must all be planning a match between her and their sons. Caroline, however, refused to be introduced to anyone, danced only once with Mr. Darcy (after his persistent entreaty) and then paced the room for the rest of the evening. Everyone declared that she was the most proud and disagreeable girl they had ever met!

Elizabeth Bennet had reason to dislike Miss Bingley more than most, for while she was sitting down due to a scarcity of gentlemen, she overheard the brother and sister talking.

“If you do not wish to dance, at least talk to some of the women. You can fear nothing from them,” Charles said, “My partner’s sister is very quick, allow me to introduce you! She has no brothers at all to seek your hand.”

Caroline looked at Elizabeth for a moment, then as Elizabeth looked back, she turned to her brother and said, “What you consider quick, dear brother, is sure to be slow to me. I am certain to find no one remarkable in Meryton. I have no interest in forming friendships with women far below my intellect.”

Elizabeth was of the disposition to laugh at such an insult, especially from a woman who had nothing to recommend her but being lucky in inheritance, and she was rewarded for her good humour. Mr. Darcy approached Miss Bingley for a second dance which she vehemently refused. He was then obligated to ask someone else. The sound of Elizabeth’s laughter caught his attention and Elizabeth Bennet was the only woman, besides Caroline, who danced with Darcy that evening. Elizabeth thought nothing of it, but her mother was in raptures.

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Caroline, instead of visiting in the neighbourhood, claimed she had a cold and shut herself away for several days in a workshop of sorts, which she had ordered created in one of the empty cottages near Netherfield. Unfortunately, she was in a rather foul mood and didn’t invent anything of use. In search of inspiration, she accepted an invitation to a party at Lucas Lodge. By this time Mrs. Hurst had visited with the Bennet family and she carried back a somewhat more credible report than Charles. Caroline agreed she might be interested in knowing the two elder girls. To this end, Caroline stood near enough to listen to Elizabeth’s conversations with her friends and was forced to admit that not only her eyes were bright.

“Miss Elizabeth,” Caroline said, after the girl in question had finished playing, “I am sorry to have not made your acquaintance before. Would you like to take a turn about the room?”

“You are all politeness,” said Elizabeth archly, “but I am quite comfortable here.”

“Would you not indulge me for half an hour? This evening had been barely tolerable.”

“Perhaps you might enjoy it more if you formed a friendship,” Elizabeth suggested, before moving away to where her friend Charlotte was sitting.

Caroline was annoyed but not injured by Elizabeth’s rejection. She was now determined to pursue an intimacy with Elizabeth and would make her first real attempt the next morning. Caroline was then accosted by Mr. Darcy.

“I can guess the subject of your reverie.”

“I should imagine not.”

“You are considering how much we are above our company.”

Caroline replied, “Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. I have been meditating on the merits of female friendship.”

Darcy seemed somewhat surprised, “Friendship? And who is the object of this interest?”

“Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

Miss Darcy had only just sat down to play for the dancers, Darcy said, “Is not my sister a more acceptable companion? You shall not be able to enjoy a friendship with Miss Bennet without being thrown in the way of her mother and younger sisters.”

“I cannot see the difference, as I may not enjoy Miss Darcy without being exposed to her connections,” said Caroline sardonically before walking off to find the eldest Miss Bennet. Jane was far more willing to speak with Miss Bingley, much to the watching gentleman’s consternation.

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The ladies of Netherfield called on Longbourn the very next day and Caroline found herself exceedingly comfortable in their home. She was perfectly able to bear the vulgarity of some of the family due to the total lack of people trying to marry her. Why had she never realised before that a family with five daughters and no sons was the perfect arrangement? She was furthermore entirely impressed with Elizabeth’s intellect and Jane’s overall sweetness. Mrs. Hurst kindly spent her time talking to the other women so that Caroline could have some rational discourse.

Elizabeth and Jane were not surprised, therefore, when they were both invited to Netherfield to dine a few days later. They went in the carriage, but Jane unfortunately was soaked because she stepped in a rather deep puddle in flimsy half boots. As the men were home, Jane spent a good deal of time talking to Mr. Bingley, Caroline monopolised Elisabeth, and both Darcys tried unsuccessfully to integrate themselves into the conversation. Miss Darcy did her best to add small comments, but she chose poorly and spoke only when she was least likely to be heard.

Mr. Darcy was fairly annoyed. He had spent months finding a neighbourhood without any eligible men living in an easy distance and an acceptable house to rent. To find himself ignored in favour of a woman, with nothing more to recommend her than a reasonably clever mind, was extremely vexing. He had set careful plans and Elizabeth Bennet was ruining all of them.

That evening Jane began to feel ill and Caroline and Charles joined in eagerly begging her not to risk the journey home by carriage and to stay the night. The Bennet sisters accepted and their carriage was sent with a note requesting some clothes. By morning, it was clear that Jane was very ill and would have to remain at Netherfield. The Bingleys were secretly delighted to retain such good company in the house, despite the illness.

Caroline was so inspired by the entire situation that she set out for her workshop immediately and began designing a superior, water-proof half-boot.

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Elizabeth left her sister sleeping and came into the drawing room, where she took up some needlework and was amused by what was passing between Miss Bingley and her companion. Caroline was writing a letter and Darcy was doing his best to distract her from it. Miss Darcy was at the other end of the room practising pianoforte.

“You draw that diagram uncommonly well,” said the gentleman.

“You are mistaken, I drew rather poorly,” said she, taking up fresh paper.

“How delighted your uncle will be to receive such a letter.”

She made no answer.

“How many letters you must have the occasion to write in the course of a year!”

“Indeed, and I write all the better when I am alone.”

“Pray tell your uncle that I wish to meet him soon.”

“I hardly think he will be at leisure to do so at present.”

“I am afraid you do not like your pen, let me call for another.”

Caroline scowled, “I like my ballpoint pen very well and I always use my own.”

“How can you contrive to draw so neatly?”

She was silent.

“I am sure my sister will be quite in raptures over your beautiful little design.”

“Little design?” said she, with a good deal of warmth, “Do you think it inconsequential that Miss Bennet has fallen ill because of a poorly made half-boot? Are you unaware of the feminine struggle to be shod in comfort, beauty, and utility? You and I think very differently if an improvement such as this is ‘little.’ It makes me wonder about Georgiana’s footwear.”

“Miss Bennet should not be made to suffer from flimsy boots,” cried Charles.

“You mistake my meaning,” said Darcy, “Georgiana has suffered frequently from insufficient warmth during our cold winters in Derbyshire. I did not mean ‘little’ in a derogatory sense; it is merely a turn of phrase. You are determined to wilfully misunderstand me.”

“That shall not do, Darcy,” said Charles, “You will not recommend yourself to my sister by questioning her understanding.”

Elizabeth, who was trying to keep from laughing, finally asked, “May I see you drawing, Miss Bingley? I did not know you had skill in fashion design.”

Caroline quickly recollected herself, “I am not involved in trade, Miss Bennet, our family has long cut that association. I am writing to my uncle so my niece can properly direct her cobbler.”

“I suspected nothing,” said Elizabeth, then taking up the drawing, she looked it over. “Do not you think,” she said with some consideration, “that the boot may still leak at the seam where the sole is connected? In my experience, that is the weakest point in most boot construction. I dearly love to walk but leaking boots have always been a hindrance to me.”

Caroline quickly drew a second design, “Would this be a better approach?” she asked.

“Yes, I believe so.”

Caroline smiled and said, “That is the first sensible thing I’ve heard all morning. It is a pleasure having you here, Miss Bennet.”

“Your design is far superior to what I have ever seen. I am sure my sisters would all appreciate owning them. Excuse me, I must go check on Jane.”

As soon as she was out of the room, Miss Darcy stopped playing and Mr. Darcy began abusing Elizabeth, “What does she mean by correcting you? She presumes to give you advice only because she is an excellent walker?”

Georgiana was his faithful assistant, despite having no context for the discussion, “How do we even know that she is so experienced in walking? They took the carriage to visit. It is only three miles away.”

“I think it was an excellent suggestion,” Caroline said.

“I am certain my sister could have given you better advice if she had been privy to the conversation,” said Darcy.

Charles looked dreamily towards the window and said, “I think we should all be friends. Elizabeth would make you a wonderful sister-in-law, Caroline.”

“What?” said Darcy, Miss Darcy, and Caroline together.

Charles did not hear them. He only continued in the same tone, “Miss Bennet is an angel.”

“Charles, you cannot marry after speaking to a girl for a few hours!” Caroline cried.

Georgiana thought it best to say nothing (and she also greatly preferred that route).

Darcy was clearly struggling to put his disagreeable feelings into appropriate words, “Charles, how can you be so certain after a few days acquaintance when you have other… longer and more extensive friendships that you appeared to be interested in.”

Charles turned to his friend, “I have been struck! I am in love. I am incapable of thinking of anyone else. It is Miss Bennet that I constantly dream of!”

If Darcy had not been the absolute picture of a gentleman, he would have rolled his eyes so hard they would have burst from their sockets. It was, therefore, fortunate that he maintained his composure. He was tremendously provoked. Nothing was going as planned! This was unaccountable. Charles was supposed to marry Georgiana! Was she not highly accomplished and beautiful?

Caroline laughed behind her hand and then hid it with a cough. This Bennet family was delightful! They were actually discomposing Darcy. She said gaily, “Once Miss Bennet is recovered, we must have the whole family for dinner.”

“Yes, we must!”

“Do you think Miss Bennet would enjoy a ball?”

“I will ask her as soon as I may see her!” Charles cried. Caroline smiled, she was imagining her brother again as a puppy, engaged in a full-body wag of exuberant joy. Let him marry Miss Bennet! Would that finally put an end to Darcy’s fruitless pursuit of her? Probably not, but there was no harm in the attempt.

“There are some in the company who would not like a ball, but may prefer if rational discourse was the object of the day,” said Darcy.

“I would like that above all things,” said Georgiana quietly.

“If I do not wish to dance, I will go to my workshop,” said Caroline, “but I am certain I will find amusement enough.”

That night Caroline could not sleep. She finally figured out the best use for bitumen which had been bothering her for several months. They ought to use it to pave all the roads in England! She wrote to her uncle with careful notes about her ideas and went to bed. Convinced that in a few years, even those dwelling in the country would not have to walk through the dirt.

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When Jane was well enough to come down for the evening, Bingley was full of joy and attention. Elizabeth was trying to talk to Georgiana, who was replying in nothing but monosyllables. Mrs. and Mr. Hurst both fell asleep on the sofa because Caroline had not ordered a card table. She was trying to read a book. Unfortunately, Mr. Darcy sat beside her and was trying to engage her in conversation.

“What are you reading?” he asked.

“Farming Methods for Sugar Cane Requiring Less Labour and Allowing for Total Abolishment of Slavery within the Empire,” she replied and read on.

“What a fascinating subject, what is your interest in it?”

Caroline sighed, “Do you not use sugar, Mr. Darcy?”

“It is common to use sugar, but uncommon to read about its production.”

Caroline was silent.

“Have you heard that they have been experimenting with sugar beets as a source of sugar in Berlin?”

Caroline glared at him. Did he not see that she was trying to read!

“I have been considering investing, if you would give me your opinion on the matter.”

“Miss Elizabeth!” Caroline called. “Would you like to take a turn about the room? It is very refreshing after sitting so long in one attitude.”

Elizabeth was surprised by agreed to it immediately. Caroline said, “I would like your opinion on some important matters, though I must ask for your absolute discretion.”

“You can have confidence in my silence,” said Elizabeth.

“What is your opinion on the sugar trade?”

Elizabeth had never given it much consideration, but she said, “It is unfortunate that such a vital commodity should be produced with vile methods.”

“Exactly so!” Caroline cried. “Which is why it would be revolutionary if we could replace cane sugar with beet sugar.”

“Given the current shortage of wheat, do you think there would be enough resources to grow sufficient beets for sugar? There is only so much farmland in England.”

Caroline was duly impressed and would have continued the conversation, except that Darcy called out, “May I join your party?”

“I am sorry, Mr. Darcy, but we are in each other’s confidence and have secret affairs to discuss,” said Elizabeth gaily.

Caroline was enchanted. She had never been so bewitched by another person in her life. She would far prefer to talk to Elizabeth about sugar beets forever than spend another moment in the company of the irksome Mr. Darcy! She did not feel that there could be any danger in paying Elizabeth Bennet too much attention.

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The next morning, Elizabeth went upstairs to talk to Jane. Her sister was almost recovered and she wanted to hear Jane’s opinion on Bingley.

“He is just what a young man ought to be,” said Jane, “sensible, good-humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners!—so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!”

Elizabeth giggled in spite of herself, a golden retriever had good breeding indeed! “Do you not think he is,” Elizabeth paused, “something of a puppy?”

“A puppy? Oh no, I do not think I would like a puppy. He is a very agreeable young man.”

Elizabeth did not press the point. If Jane liked that sort of gentleman then she would not attempt to dissuade her. “I think it likely,” she observed, “that Mr. Bingley will make a proposal soon.”

Jane blushed, “I am flattered by his attention but I do not expect anything so soon!”

“You are too modest! He will ask for your hand within the month, I stake my life on it.”

Jane was beet-red and far too modest to continue in this line of discussion, “What do you think of Miss Bingley now?”

“I believe my first impression was entirely wrong! I am not surprised that a woman such as Miss Bingley is hesitant to form friendships with strangers. However, I do suspect there is something she is concealing from us.”

“What is that?”

“She may be far more involved in trade than she leads us to believe.”

“Oh, well that is very strange.”

“Very strange indeed. What do you think of Mr. Darcy?”

Jane thought for a moment, “I do not think I understand him at all. His attentions to Miss Bingley are obvious, but it is just as apparent that she does not wish for his good opinion. I do not think I would persist for so long with any woman breathing if I received as little encouragement as he does!”

“Well, most women breathing do not have Miss Bingley’s fortune, I cannot fault him for trying for her.”

“Then you think him mercenary?”

“I think he greatly admires Miss Bingley’s many attributes and will not give her up! His poor sister tries to help him but she is not very successful I fear,” said Elizabeth.

“Miss Darcy is a very sweet girl,” said Jane seriously.

“Yes, very sweet, though it does not seem that speaking in full sentences is one of her many, many accomplishments.”

“Lizzy, that is not fair! Even if she is very shy it does not make her a jot less agreeable,” cried Jane.

Elizabeth kept her retort to herself and Jane was allowed to think of Georgiana as she liked. 

They proceeded downstairs. Elizabeth, who was enjoying her stay, was now obliged to write home to her mother and request the carriage. This was duly denied as Mrs. Bennet wished for them to stay the week. Elizabeth applied to Miss Bingley who was united with Mrs. Bennet in not wishing for either Jane or Elizabeth to leave. “There is no reason to move your sister so soon, are you not perfectly comfortable here?”

“I do not wish to impose,” said Elizabeth.

“You would not be imposing, far from it. Indulge your mother and stay another week if you wish,” said Caroline.

Elizabeth could not resist, as she was finding the household dynamics quite amusing. She did write and request to stay. Mrs. Bennet was highly gratified and Bingley was so pleased to have a healthy and approachable Jane in the house that he bounded over to Jane’s side and very promptly proposed to her. Jane accepted, much to the consternation of Caroline, who was obliged by propriety to send Jane home as it is improper for an engaged couple to remain under the same roof.  Elizabeth felt the necessity of returning home herself, but she promised to come and visit Miss Bingley again soon.

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The next day, Elizabeth walked to Netherfield to visit her friend. Caroline showed Elizabeth her workshop and admitted her true role in the family company. They spent the day together and before dinner, Caroline was resolved. Elizabeth’s knowledge and quick thinking was a perfect match to her own talents and she believed that they could truly do anything together.

“Dearest Elizabeth, my feeling cannot be sufficiently expressed, I must tell you how much I admire and esteem you. Please consent to be my partner in business. I truly believe that together we can better the world!”

Elizabeth was hesitant, “I am not certain, is marriage not the only provision for a well-educated woman of small fortune? I will need to ask my father.”

“I would not stand in the way of your family obligations, but do you think your father would agree if I had a legal agreement written up that would give your family all the profits from the half boot design and fifty percent from any further collaborations?”

Elizabeth had a strong inclination that her father would readily accept and he did. Mrs. Bennet found the whole thing rather strange, but as Elizabeth insisted on sharing the profits equally between her sisters, her mother thought it was a very agreeable plan. The half boot design was soon the latest craze in London as it is every woman’s wish to have a sensible, practical, and fashionable item of footwear. Jane was able to marry Bingley with a very respectable three-thousand-pound fortune.

Mr. Darcy and his sister remained, though they only saw Caroline at dinner since she spent almost the whole day with Elizabeth inventing, in rapid succession, the dishwasher (because Caroline had noticed the cracked hands of the scullery maids), the gramophone (since Jane did not know how to play but Charles loved music), the sewing machine (to give them all more time for other pursuits), and a typewriter (so that everyone would be able to read Charles’s letters (the ball point pen somehow hadn’t helped)). Finally, Darcy realised that he would never succeed with Caroline. His affections and wishes underwent a material change and he found himself drawn to Elizabeth Bennet’s fine mind instead. 

One cannot determine with full confidence that Elizabeth’s increasing attractions were mostly rooted in her fortune now being thirty thousand pounds, but whatever the cause, she was convinced to accept him in the end, if only because of his handsome visage and tall person.. He had no scruples about letting her continue in her partnership with Caroline and Mrs. Bennet was still insisting that all her daughters marry.

Mr. Collins still visited, and proposed to Misses Mary, Kitty, and Lydia all in a row. He was stoutly refused and returned to Lady Catherine empty handed and unmarried.

Lydia, with her massive fortune, married Mr. Wickham and they were settled very comfortably in Purvis Lodge (they fully renovated the attics).

Kitty devoted her entire fortune trying to find a cure for coughing and eventually married the lead researcher, Mr. Wingfield (much to Isabella Knightley’s delight).

Mary bought too many large, dry volumes with her fortune and was nearly killed in a bookshelf collapse. She was saved by the eldest Lucas boy who married her. Despite their large income, he was nothing like his youngest brother and did not drink an entire bottle of wine a day.

Jane and Bingley were perfectly happy, even more so when they purchased an estate near Pemberley and devoted most of their time to breeding Yorkshire terriers. Both Caroline and Elizabeth were confused by the couple’s selection of dog, but they contented themselves by purchasing a golden retriever to live in their workshop.

And Caroline, who was almost determined to never marry, by her association with Elizabeth spent a good deal of time with the Fitzwilliam family. She eventually got so tired of Colonel Fitzwilliam’s whining about being a poor younger son, that she approached the Prince Regent (who was very very very grateful that she had invented the first effective and comfortable method of preventing embarrassing diseases that the Prince would rather not talk about right now, thank you very much, that is a matter between him and his mistress).  She asked what it would cost to have a new dukedom created and when he quoted a ridiculously high sum, she promptly paid. On a bit of a lark, she became Lady Caroline Bingley, 1st Duchess of the Isle of Wight. When Colonel Fitzwilliam proposed for the eight-and-thirtieth time, she accepted and he was able to spend the rest of his life lording his superior title over his brother, a mere Earl.

And they all lived happily ever after.

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For more short stories, go here

For my crossover romance, check out Prideful & Persuaded

For my Mansfield Park variation, here Unfairly Caught