Another Offer of Marriage

My situation in life, my connections with the family of de Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in my favour; and you should take it into further consideration, that in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you. Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications. As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me, I shall choose to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.” – Pride and Prejudice

When Mr. Collins, the Rector of Hunsford with seven hundred a year and future inheritor of Longbourn proposed to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, he told her she was unlikely to ever receive any better offer of marriage. She knew he was probably right, but disliking him, she turned him down anyway.

A few months later, Mr. Darcy, the nephew of an earl with ten thousand a year and a house in London, proposed. It was an offer Elizabeth never would have expected, but she disliked him too, so she turned him down.

A few weeks later, the Honourable Mr. Oliver, the future Viscount  – with fifteen thousand pounds a year and estates in Ireland, Scotland, and England- proposed to Elizabeth. It was almost too good an offer to refuse, but refuse she did. She simply could not approve of his character.

Another month passed and this time Elizabeth was proposed to by Lord Ormand, Seventh Duke of – with twenty thousand pounds a year and a villa in Italy. It was an offer far beyond Elizabeth’s wildest dreams, but as she found his conduct repulsive, but not unfamiliar as she reminded him of a certain ‘friend’, so she redirected him to Miss Caroline Bingley.

A week later, Alexander the I, Tzar of Russia visited England and fell madly in love with Elizabeth. She politely declined his advances, on account of not knowing him well enough. She thought about introducing him to Jane, but before she could he went back to Russia in despair.

The next day, the Prince Regent, the future King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, proposed to Elizabeth. She pretended to be very flattered, but knowing his reputation, she could not bring herself to accept. She did not dislike any woman in her acquaintance enough to attempt to introduce him to anyone else.

Feeling that she had better marry before Napoleon or possibly the Pope appeared on her doorstep, Elizabeth decided to finally read the letter that Mr. Darcy had given her after his failed proposal. She thought much better of him afterwards and, not wishing to be too forward, she let it be generally known that she would consider second proposals.

Mr. Collins contemplated if he could leave his wife (but in the end it was impractical), Mr. Oliver sent her a horse (which she gave to Jane), Lord Ormand almost jilted Caroline the night before their wedding, the Tzar wrote a very eloquent letter, and the Prince Regent got drunk and forgot to stop by, but still Darcy did not come.

Alas, Mr. Darcy had been too nervous to propose again, after reading of all the other offers made to Elizabeth in the paper. Fortunately for everyone involved, his aunt, Lady Catherine, travelled night and day to Pemberley and berated him into proposing again to the most sought after woman in Europe. After all, she was hoping to convince the grieving Mr. Oliver to marry her daughter Anne.

Before Frederick I, Emperor of Austria and King of Hungary, Croatia, and Bohemia, could even depart for England (after hearing a glowing report of Miss Elizabeth Bennet from his dear friend Alexander the I), it was widely reported throughout the continent that she had finally accepted a proposal of marriage.

It was generally accepted that Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy was very happy with her choice, and to all the world she appeared so. However, if you were to ask the nearly jilted Lady Ormond, she would swear to you in a confidential whisper, that she had once seen Mrs. Darcy, late at night and alone in her chamber at Pemberley, wearing a tiara and practicing greetings in Russian.

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Thank you for reading!

For more short stories, go here

For my crossover romance, check out Prideful & Persuaded

For my Mansfield Park variation, here Unfairly Caught