Tiny Stories

These are some silly small things

What’s in a Name? (This is my response to naming Colonel Fitzwilliam “Richard”, common in JAFF)

“Elizabeth, may I introduce you to my cousins, Colonel, Barrister, Captain, Rector, and Physician Fitzwilliam,” said Darcy.

“Are those their names or professions?”

“My honoured aunt thought it would be simpler to name all her younger sons after their destined profession, they are in fact, Colonel Colonel, Barrister Barrister, Rector Captain, Captain Rector, and Physician Fitzwilliam.”

Elizabeth lowered her voice, “Colonel and Captain? Did she not imagine they would rise to general or admiral?”

“My aunt was a great realist, Miss Bennet.”


The MB Weather System 20kTM

“May I have the carriage, mamma?”

Mrs. Bennet held up her finger in the universal sign of, “wait one moment” and went to the window to consult her MB Weather System 20KTM. “No my dear, it is going to rain, you shall go on horseback. Then you will have to stay the night.”

Jane goes, it rains, she takes cold. Mrs. Bennet visits Netherfield.

“Mrs. Bennet,” Miss Bingley said haughtily, “are you not able to keep a MB Weather System 20KTM?”

“We are very well able to keep a good weather system!” Mrs. Bennet assured Caroline with some asperity.

“I knew it!” Miss Bingley cried, “I invented the Miss Bingley Weather System (which made me my fortune of twenty thousand pounds). You see Charles! It was all a plot to entrap you!”

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